Self-criticism is like eating an entire bag of potato chips. You know it’s bad for you, but you do it anyway. Afterwards, you feel icky…and bloated. But if you stopped the negative self-chatter you’ve been shoveling in and filled yourself with more nourishing thoughts, you’d start to feel pretty darn great.
In many situations self-love is where we go last. Who’s the first person we criticize when something goes wrong? Who’s the one we often blame when our boyfriend ditches us? Who’s the first person we beat up when we don’t land that perfect job or get that big promotion? So who has time to practice self-love when we’re too busy beating down our self-esteem with a two-by-four? And with this kind of self-flagellation how are we supposed to live our dreams and find our dream guy?
One of the biggest kill factors in my past relationship was that I didn’t love myself as much as I loved him. That lack of self-love seeped into every aspect of my life: my work, my friendships and my relationships.
The truth is we could all use a little more self-lovin’ on a daily basis. So let’s rally around your awesome self today. Here are five fab ways to fall in love with the most important person in the world…you.
1. Look in the mirror.
Every face is beautiful. Look in the mirror and pick something you love about yourself. While you’re staring, let go of anything you don’t like. Seriously, freaking out about a mole or the slightest wrinkle will only make you frown and make it worse. And just remember, it’s our imperfections that make us unique and special anyway.
By focusing on your favorite feature(s) those flaws you perceive will soon fade into the background and you’ll be saying, “Hi gorgeous!”
2. Write down five things you love about yourself.
- For example: I love my sense of humor. I love how compassionate I am. I love that I’m a great partner in relationships.
- Say them three times out loud.
- Put your “fab five” on your nightstand and repeat them every morning.
3. Ask friends.
- Send an email to your closest friends asking them what’s great about you (if you’re uncomfortable with asking, say I told you to do it).
- Sit back and let the love-fest begin.
- Compile a list of your favorites. Look at them often (tape them to your mirror, your refrigerator, or your forehead if you have to).
- Believe every awesome word!
4. Do something you love.
Doing something you love is a great way to get in touch with what makes you tick and what fuels your happiness. So get out and go rollerblading, ice-skating, paint a picture, sing, dance, whatever…just do it with a big smile. Enjoy you!
5. Make a promise to yourself.
Make a commitment to yourself. Go shopping (yay!) and get a promise ring to signify your love for you (you don’t have to spend a lot of money, just find one that fits well and makes you happy when you look at it). Put it on and promise to be true to you, always. Now say these words out loud:
- I promise to date guys who see me for the awesome woman I am.
- I promise to keep only healthy, supportive friendships (yep, it’s time to dump those gossipy, toxic gals).
- I promise to love myself more, every day.
If you do these five fab tips, reward yourself. By building a better relationship with you, you’ll attract better relationships with others. By feeding yourself with good thoughts, others will feed in to them too. And that new guy you date or the new friends you meet will mirror back your new, loving, amazing self.
He Did You A Favor because…now you get to build a better relationship with you.
© Debra Rogers. Did You A Favor, Inc. 2013