Cupid shot that bow and arrow right into your heart and now you’re trying the yank the dang thing out. It’s ridiculously difficult…and messy. The guy who was suppose to be your Valentine went all Valentine’s Day Massacre on your self-esteem by breaking your heart into a million pieces and you’re left lying in the dirt thinking, WTF?

I get it. I’ve been there.

I’ve been dumped, ditched, run over by his big dump truck. While my ex and his mistress were having a romantic dinner at a swanky restaurant, I was home alone with our newborn baby in my flannel jammies having a date with my dogs and a tub of Mint Chocolate Chip, having an “all is lost” chick flick moment.

Valentine’s Day can be a stab to the gut for the broken-hearted. Throw in that your ex is swapping spit with another chick, or ran up debts and then ran for the hills, or he took your Chihuahua and that knife just got twisted in further, causing even more pain.

I’ve been there too (minus the Chihuahua) and I feel your pain.

  • Maybe you were dumped just before V-Day (it’s common for guys to jump ship before the hearts and flowers pierces their wallet).
  • Or you’ve been Miss Oh So Hot and Single for a while, but have been dating a series of womanizers, moochers, or the guy who’s more interested in his Batman collection than you.
  • Or you’re in a relationship that’s going straight to nowheresville.
  • Or you just can’t stop checking FB for that guy you dated years ago who went all MIA, yet you can’t stop thinking about him (he’s probably not as hot as you remember).
  • Or maybe a past breakup that has left you permanently scarred and you just can’t help ripping it open and rehashing past mistakes, leaving a gaping hole in your self-esteem.

Even though you may not see it now, in all these situations your Ex-Valentine did you a big favor.

You have a choice, Valentine Girl. You can wallow in self-destructive self-pity and blame for the shitty guy who dumped you and wasn’t worthy of you to begin with, or you can move on to a more satisfying, happy, rockin’ life. I did and my life turned out better than I ever dreamed or imagined. So what are you gonna do?

Valentine’s Day is a reminder of how much we love our partners. Why not make it a day on how much you love yourself?

Here are three fab Valentine’s tips you can do for the love of your life…YOU:

1. Ditch the heart-wrenching chick flick and get into Laura Croft or some other action heroine who kicks awesome butt…and think about ways to kick butt in your own life.

Keep in mind, if you’re the type who’d rather go kickboxing and get a kickass workout yourself, then do it!

2. Throw a champagne party with a few of your closet girlfriends.

Have each person write five things that are great about you (and visa versa). Read them out loud and feel the love.

If you love to cook, make your favorite dish to share. Let your friends “ooh” and “ahh” about what an awesome cook you are – just one more thing that’ s great about you. If you’re like me and cooking is a chore, get your favorite take-out. You’re friends will applaud you for taking care of yourself. And, hey, who doesn’t love good take-out anyway?

3. Take a nice, soothing bubble bath with candles.

While you’re pampering yourself, think about five things you’re good at…and how you’re going to do them more this year.

If bubble baths aren’t your thing, find something relaxing that makes you feel refreshed. Go for a walk, get a massage, or take a relaxing nap. You’ll feel better about yourself and the situation afterward.

The truth is you are loved.

The truth is you can overcome anything.

The truth is you’re a powerful, super woman!

The road is open. You’re options are limitless. You’re free to be whatever you wish. So grab your own bow and arrow, Warrior girl, and aim for a worthy target!

He Did You A Favor because…now you have the opportunity to rediscover your fabulous self and hit a bull’s-eye with confidence.